The male in me much rather wanting to put that aside for later and be beside her to snuggle up and share her body with mine. But a woman’s practicality being what it is, I resolved that the best thing was for me to get my hunger buds sorted before anything else, and with Deborah commenting on the way to my heart was through my stomach and that is what her Mum always said, I had no alternative than to accept. ‘After all you need to get back some of that lost vitality if you want to share my bed for the night, Pete.’ Now she was talking and I knew the absence had made her heart grow fonder and I hoped her lust too. Deborah since I have known her has been a very passionate lover and that’s for certain, but she always stipulates ‘ with the right guy’ and so I consider myself very lucky to be her right guy because I have so very much to give her. Deborah is so very special and I have never known a woman like her,. And me treating her the way I do, sometimes I am thinking I ought to be. And if wrong guesses are right guesses, if you are just going along to keep the thing rolling when you don’t want this thing to roll at all—then you give up and you stand up from the organ and you walk the hell away—but you have always been polite, to the point of the mast head of self-ridicule. You have always never bothered when you bothered so much. Never cared when you cared so very much. Others don’t care. The other organ players. They sing the same tunes and expect you to join them in there too. And they don’t mind if you drop out, giving up explanations, giving up the livery stable where there is the beast of yourself you would like to ride out on, and the wind would be hot and the mirage would be just for you, and these keys would not be here under your fingertips riding you and you would make the desert proper by dusk and you could be a mirage yourself. That was the rolling organ. That was the rolling tumescence that said here is the tumor and the tumor is you. Don’t you.
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